Being a perfectionist can mean that you are increasing your anxiety without even realizing it. Wanting to do things to the very best of your ability, each and every time, puts a lot of pressure on yourself. It means that you are constantly thinking that you could (and should) do things to perfection.

How do you know if you are a perfectionist? Well, a big give-away is that you will often find that you are always expecting a lot of yourself and others. You will have high standards but alongside this, you will always want to reach those high standards. You will find it hard to forgive yourself if you think you have fallen short of those standards. Do you recognize these traits in yourself?

What does being a perfectionist mean for me? Each time you start telling yourself that you have not done something properly, you are being self-critical. These negative feelings can generate feelings of anxiety in you which keep the cycle of anxiety going. By constantly beating yourself up over things which you think you should have done better, you are disempowering yourself and reinforcing negativity.

How can I stop being a perfectionist? Well, there are several things you can do. Perfectionism is comes from the way in which you think and particularly the way in which you talk to yourself in your mind. If you can change the way in which you talk to yourself, you can start to learn to demand less from yourself. Use the following exercise to practice changing your 'self-talk'.

Think about situations where you are hard on yourself and might be self-critical.

1. Make a list of the negative comments you say to yourself.
2. Now find a positive comment you can use to replace the negative comment. For example, a negative comment might be "I just can not do anything right". You can replace this with a positive comment such as "What I do is usually good enough".
3. Continue working through your list until you have replaced all the negative comments with positive ones.
4. Each day, pick one negative comment and practice saying the positive comment in its place. If you keep practicing one positive comment per day, you will soon learn to change the way you think.

You can combine this techniques with a commitment to treat yourself as you would your best friend, that is, be less demanding and more supportive of yourself. If you learn to be realistic about what you expect from yourself, you will dramatically reduce the anxiety and stress that you create within yourself. Remember - it does not have to be perfect - just good enough!